My name is Job. Not Job…the dude in the Bible. He to, thought he had a Job. The ole Devil got him just like I have got you. My name is Job, with the ‘ahhh’ sound in the middle. I am one tough mother f*cker to get. I demand so much from you, average “Joe” or “Josephine”. I can get your hopes up and then bamn!, when you least expect it, you really think you might have ME, I dump your ass and shove your face into the warm, oozing, stinking dog pile with the rest of the sniveling idiots.
Yes, I see your credentials. That list of experience is mighty fine looking. You have many people who are willing to tell me that you are the ‘right person’ for this position. Let me drag this out for you. I will require you to fill out reams of forms. I want to know everything about you. Then I ask you to come in for an interview and ask meaningless questions, like “When was a time that you dealt with an angry customer and how did you handle that?” “How did it make you feel?” I will make you take a 75 question integrity test and I won’t let you know if you answered the questions to my specifications or not. I will muddle your mind with anticipation by offering you the chance for a second interview.
I will give you hope with a congratulatory handshake and smile and a promise that I will call you back. I am a slick bastard though and will stab you in the back when you least expect it. I offer false hope and little else. Yes, it was only a part time cashiering position at minimum wage; however, I gave you the opportunity to dream and turned that into a nightmare filled with despair. Go ahead Pollyanna, keep your tattered spirit together with a strand of hope and a little faith that ‘things’ have to get better.
My name is Job. I am not your friend or savior. I am your nemesis, because even if you were one of the chosen few, I would never make life easy for you. If I ever lull you into feeling comfortable, you can bet I will, sooner or later, kick you out in the street and leave you begging to have me back. You love to hate me. You need me, but I do not need YOU.
See you later sucker! Before you leave, let me thank you again for your time. I am an all powerful being. You will come back to me again, eyes shining with confidence that I will cherish you like a good father should. Like a beaten and chained dog who goes back to the the only person he knows, that evil master, you too will come back for more. Until then,
Hi! My name is Job.