I live in such a beautiful world. I look outside and see trees, not this stand of trees, yet this picture I took about a year ago, shows the peacefulness I can reach just by walking a few feet from my front door. I love yoga. I haven’t gotten into poses, Sun Salutation or Downward Dog in months. I tried to get back into it when i first moved into my “new” home, but realized after a few attempts, the solitude of my practice no longer served my higher good. I stopped cold turkey, turned inward, allowed the grief of loosing my identity in so many of my wonderful facets that I temporarily lost sight of my reason of living. I wondered if I would always feel so alone. I cried and gnashed my teeth and shook my fists. I’m a good person, damn-it Universe! Why must I learn what heart wrenching sorrow feels like? Death, whether metaphysically, mentally, physically, soulfully… signifies rebirth. There are so many people out here that don’t know they have a choice to re-create, start again, be better than before. I know so many people who believe the weight of the world (as they perceive it) is their burden to carry throughout life. My male cohort for 20 years decided that long ago; that all people, even the ones he knew love him, were devious, untruthful and would eventually leave him. He manifested his truth. I became a by-product of that truth, thrown away.
Yet, that is not my truth and I have a choice not to adopt it. I believe that (always have) that people are inherently good. That their mistakes, past actions or current viewpoint don not define them wholly. I like that about myself; I can see the good in people as well as the bad and choose to focus on the good. My husband IS a good man. He just didn’t think he was good enough to, he always felt as if he should be doing something else. In fact he would often say “I was born in the wrong time” as if this time was a mistake. Thankfully, he does love his three children, two that we share and one bundle of joy he procreated when he was only 16 years old.
I do love her as my own, even though I would have been only 12 years old when I had her! 🙂
I went through the motions this morning, touched base with my sister friend who lives 60 miles away via Facebook, went on my “professional” Facebook page and touched base with the first Sage on my journey. I told him so this morning that he is my guide as much as he feels he can be. I am a hero on a journey ( as a writer, I regress to the Hero’s Journey, a mono-myth) and I hope you join me as I embark on my way. If you choose to walk your own path after a while we can promise to meet again as this life long journey will never end. I am giddy with excitement with all the possibilities lain at my feet, down the path, in every crevice. I am blessed beyond comprehension, and allowing myself to see this first step as an adventure, I will keep this thought close to my heart.
I wrote this on my sudonym Facebook wall this morning : ” I will not focus on what I do not have, instead I will focus and rejoice in what I have and am receiving”
May you, as you read this post, feel the natural high of the beginning of a New Day, Day 1; An Automatic High. Breathe in deeply and start your journey taking the first step with me. Today I shared Sun Salutation with the Sun on my porch, today, who knows what adventures I will experience once I leave my comfortable home. I have a pot of chili on this morning and plan to share it with my favorite volunteers. I am taking my computer to get it’s memory boosted, as I have bought that right, but I believe the company I chose has forgotten I am still waiting for them to install it. I will find my favorite hugger and share a smile with him. He is the nicest guy who stated he is having to take anger management classes… I asked how did you find your way there when all I have seen you do is smile? It is Bike Week and instead of wishing I was a part of it like I have been in the past, i will take my car into the throngs of bikes and ask for a ride around town with a complete stranger, making them a new friend. I will enjoy the cold sea water on my feet and take pictures of everything. Tonight when I get home I will share my journey here and on Facebook. I keep saying I want to be a traveling writer and make a living off of doing so, therefore I need to get off this couch and make it happen. I am off! I am waving goodbye to those of you who aren’t ready yet…