I Like You a Lottle.

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I thought this facebook post was awesome yesterday, but I was afraid to send it to my ex- boyfriend. There are so many reasons I am pulling back, yet, like this morning when he came to my door with gardinas in hand, I thought to myself “It is so hard not to like him a lottle.” He is trying to blend two concepts together in his mind and say it is ok, however to me, where I am today, it isn’t. I have to hold my ground because if I don’t then I am diminshing my worth. And seven months out of a marriage that I kept myself in the shadow of my husband for so many reasons (ignorance, peace in the home, a facade of a happy marriage/ union, passive nature) I have to change those thoughts and habits I allowed to be created during those two decades. Everytime I stand up for my self worth I feel better about life in general. In the week since I got sloppy drunk and told him I couldn’t do “this” any more has been a period of self evaluation. I am at the cross roads and I need to be true to myself. I need to be on this track for us both. He seems to want to keep me in his life. He sees my distrust and hesitance in staying in a relationship and it seems to be confusing him. He says he sees a change in me and is missing the passive, agreeable Natalie, but also likes this new Natalie he is seeing. Still, it is not persuading him to change his mind on his stance. Yet, it has only been less than a week. We will see…

I do like him a lottle. I might still send this to him.

One thought on “I Like You a Lottle.

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