Be not inhospitable to strangers, lest they be Angels in disguise
I love this quote. It found me last week and has been a crux in my life for the last month or so. I am enamored with a professor that could easily border the ‘in love with’ syndrome of intellectual sharing of thoughts. Basically, I love the conversations we share and that alone has us both going back for more. The more time we spend together the closer our relationship develops. The problem with that is….
…. preconceived notions about things. How life works, personal and society driven expectations. As a man set in his ways stead- fastly, I have no desire to alter his views. Yet, as we bumble along, one of my best qualities has several times become a thorn in his side. I am a person of service. I could say it is because of my bubbly, optimistic nature or the need to help people I see struggling. I am an empathetic person. This alone has been detrimental at times for my own good. I sometimes place my needs last which of course is not good, unless I am stopping the world for my children!
Our conundrum is that in this spiritual community, there are loads of people flocking here just to be healed. They are visiting for the first time or curious but have never taken the time to really know about Spirituality but now find the need to know more. I don’t seek out people to help. I am not seeking out multiple mates by any means. Still, usually I am walking on my own from the adult Sunday meeting to the church lecture and there are other people walking with me, usually those first time visitors. Conversations strikes up with a courteous “hello” and the next thing I know I am offering any nugget of knowledge I own about this hamlet founded in 1894 or there-about.
I am up front and forthright of any interaction I might have. His thoughts are that I am too trusting, too nice, too eager to help. So we dance with this tango. In retrospect I see that I need to change a bit. Being too eager to help allows people to automatically walk on me and over me. Being a YES person all the time without thinking it through can also lead to a sticky and less desirable situation.
With all that said, I will from now on be a little more mindful. I won’t go out of my way to be nice, but I will still help someone when I can. There can be a happy medium with this – and we both can benefit from the exchange of open communication and open hearts. Relationships can be a challenge and only as difficult as I perceive. If orchestrated with care may develop into something grander than I ever thought possible.