I Miss a Good Drunk – Triggers * Warning*

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The last time I really enjoyed drinking was the first week of October. In my not so distant past I enjoyed this ritual nearly every night. I would take the bottle or the 2nd bottle to bed with me, comfort in a glass. The picture above signifies my first stop on my journey to where I live now. I paired my belongings down to fit into my little SUV, gave some items to friends and my daughter, the rest to a thrift store and stopped midway at a friends to hang out on her expansive farmhouse front porch and watch cars go by. Drink to check out of reality. Drink to find false happiness. I love to create foods in the kitchen. This blog was started over a year ago to showcase that passion as well as my photography hobby. That was when the danger signs were evident but the separation a nightmare not yet manifested. I think I’ve written more, than post either of those two things, but here is the creation I made while drinking during that particular journey:

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Stuffed Shells – Chicken and Spinach

When I was a mom and a wife, creating in the kitchen was my signature, my shining star on my lapel. I wasn’t quite Julia Child, however love for food, love for family went into every dish.

Now a single, middle aged woman, homeless in a sort of way, no home of my own, a borrowed space, I miss my children, I miss this holiday, I miss drinking. I am so tempted to spend money I don’t have on a bottle tonight. Vodka would work well for the relief I seek, temporarily as it might be. A nice red wine is preferred though. Smiles from a loved one that smiles after a sneaky taste of what I am creating for dinner. I’d have this band playing their melody in the background; this song in particular. What a proud monkey I’d be.

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