The Silent Homeless

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Often in this last year of separation and in the process of divorce, I have struggled with the homeless concept. Technically, i am homeless. I am staying at a family’s home but I know it is temporary. My material objects are enough to fill my car in a moments notice. A good portion of those things I would have to give up if I lived in my car. I feel reduced from the person I can be because of having to be dependent on others. That alone is a mind- fuck. I am at the midway point in life, just shy of 50 years old. I am a junior in college after having worked blue collar jobs sporadically throughout my 20 year marriage.

I am the silent homeless. By governmental standards I am in poverty but taken care of to the point I can’t receive aid. I do not qualify for subsidized housing because I do not have a dependent child. I am in between 2 worlds. I know it could be worse. In the back of my mind I worry that one upset could send me on the street. A few weeks ago my uncle wanted more money from me. It is scary because what if I didn’t have it, where would I be? My part time paycheck barely covers my bills. I could get a  2 day a week job based on consistent days I have off currently, but if I do and I piss off my main employer if they want to shake things up? I try not to worry about these things. Take one thing at a time, one day, hour, minute at a time. But some days like today, it is hard to wrap my head around.

I hope you never get chosen to live like this. I hope you plan ahead and can foresee what is in store if you don’t have enough money to live off of after deciding to leave an abusive relationship. no wonder the abuse continues. I was becoming like him in the end and leaving him saved me from myself. It was the best thing I could have done, yet this — being homeless is the downside of that move.

What would have you done?

From Lessons at the End of a Marriage

http://lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com/2014/01/29/black-ice/

3 thoughts on “The Silent Homeless

  1. The year I lived with a friend coincided with the census. I was shocked when I realized I technically qualified as homeless. I didn’t feel homeless. Even now, my surface (nice home, middle class life) doesn’t match my personal financial picture, at least until I finish paying off the debt from my ex. It’s so true that we never really know what another is facing just by looking at appearances. Hang in there. It does get better!

    • I feel homeless; a person on sinking sand. I am being proactive, doing what I can to move forward even though I feel that way every other minute of a given day. Depression and mid life have me looking toward a bleak future especially on emotionally bad days. Today I created a budget on what I am bringing in currently. I will shower and walk to Salvation Army to see what benefits I can ask for… even if it is to sit with a financial counselor for a few minutes. The YMCA is around the corner. I need to ask them about their community outreach. I need help I realize, and I am the only person that can ask for it. I’ll be ok, it’s just been a rough few months since moving in with family.

      • That is rough. I hope you are able to sit with a financial counselor and that he/she can give you some hope and perspective. I’m glad that you can ask for help – that’s an important step.

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