I haven’t written in nearly a week now, not on here or in my journal. I love to write and some say they feel I write well. Yet, writing tends to be a passion which does not correlate with the work I do or the tasks at hand that need to be completed for a smoother day. Because of these things, writing tends to be brushed aside as thoughts back up in my head giving me a sense of “brain constipation”. I’m sure talkative people feel this way if they are forced to remain silent for days at a time to attend a retreat; the mere feeling is so uncomfortable and task derailing.
When I started in the first week of August writing daily on WordPress, I vowed to make this a habit that actually accompanied my adult habit of drinking coffee. I felt the 30 or so days would form a habit which I wouldn’t easily break. By day 20 in August though, the stride was foiled by some early morning tasks and plans which did not include writing. I could blame that I am a human that craves seven hours (at least) of uninterrupted sleep. Blame is anger in disguise and I don’t want to place blame on what my body needs.
Bottom line is that I either need to rise earlier, find time after coffee to write, or find a sugar daddy that will support me in the ways I am accustomed to which will give me more time to write and alleviating the need to work to pay bills. Or, I just need to stop being so hard on myself and write when I can with what time I have available. I do miss writing when I don’t do it, so it is something I think about doing even in my busiest days, something akin to a gym membership, and I want to hone and nurture this ability as much as I can.
I’ll get back to writing daily this week. I want to do my best and not drop off from writing like I have done this week. It’s really my own thoughts about this habit that have a conflict waging war in my head. Thanks for understanding my struggle as I persevere in writing daily.