I’m listening to John Lee Hooker, sing and playing his guitar. I have my windows and doors open to a beautiful Florida afternoon breeze and can see sunny skies with a few billowing clouds. I want for nothing but am not satisfied. I stated this when a dear friend remarked that I should strive to be happy. I love life and am generally happy but do not believe this one emotion is the cure all or be all. Like ying and yang, happiness in my opinion, can only be felt if you also know sadness.
Enjoy the process in whatever you choose to do. Do not try to rush into finishing anything but savor each glorious moment of the process. With anything, there will be ups and downs, upsets and joyous successes. Slow down and savor every moment. I find it so rewarding and rich beyond my wildest dreams to savor everything life brings to my feet.
In August I had started writing during the second week and vowed to create a posting habit of at least 30 days. I really want to make writing at least once a day a priority. The thing is, where does all the things I want to do daily actually fit in when my work schedule flops and flips from week to week, there are no standard days off per se’ as they also change week to week. I find that my only true habits that do not waiver are making and drinking coffee (at least 2 cups) when I wake up, feed the cat so he doesn’t start biting my ankles, and walk zombie-like to the computer to check e-mail and view Facebook posts before getting into the three S’s and getting dressed for the day.
Then there are surprises: This week a Category 1 came through Florida kindof causing havoc to the locals and tourists. Two friends needed more than usual attention, one traveling to Canada for the first time and the other needing my writing skills to hone a cover letter and her resume’. I also had to take an unexpected day off to drive two hours away for my own interview, for another position in the same company I work for. The yoga studio moved at the end of July and was closed for August while they remodeled and refurbished a new location now 20 minutes from my home. I was just getting in the habit of waking up and going to a 9am hot yoga class each morning/ five days a week (this was when my schedule at work was consistent) and now my work hours are inconsistent and the classes start at 8:15am. Less sleep when some evenings I’m working until 11pm and not lying down until midnight.
Changes are good. They cause adjustments and friction, not allowing complacency.
Yet, habits are good also. Habits form good changes, which often hone skills. Both have to form around work hours, no matter what that may be. I’m not giving up. I wrote 13 times in the month of August on this site. Today, September 2nd, gives me the opportunity to write 29 times (or more if I do two posts in a day) this month. My writing goals are a challenge yet, an opportunity to continue to improve my skills.
What challenge or goal are you setting for yourself in September?
By the way, I will attend yoga tomorrow morning. I will also write. 😀
As a writer, I often reflect on the space between words, sometimes letters. When I reflect, I wonder in life do we allow ourselves such a luxury? Often, we rush through our days in a blur, from one task to the next until our heads hit the pillow for sleep. We all, at one time or another need to pause for sleep or rest. We often pause, for a bit at least, a bad habit such as drinking or smoking. These tend to be the space we give ourselves to moderate consumption. When angry or upset, we give each other space to cool off, to separate and the space to communicate in better ways at a later time.
It’s taken me nearly half my life to realize that life is all about the space between and less about the action of doing. In the action of doing, I feel we lose the essence of living. Once given, the space between allows us to regroup and take notice of our greatness or failures. This awareness today became such a wonderful experience for me; I’m outside gathering up shopping carts in the parking area in front of the store I work at. I took a deep breath and paused for a minute while waiting for a car to pass by. In that moment the Space Between thought happened. I started a list of how many spaces between activities I’ve taken. Thousands or ten- thousand! Maybe more!
I’m a mom of two young adults. Just in their two decades I have taken many life pauses where I have taken on many different and sometimes conflicting roles as a mother. I am also a sister, a daughter, a (ex) wife to two men, a girlfriend, a co-worker, a friend, an acquaintance. I have held many jobs and have greeted a Google of people on those jobs as a role in customer service. The pauses I’ve taken and the spaces between have been so numerous in one 24 hour period, it is mind blowing.
Enjoy the space between, the pauses, the awareness of life’s littlest gem, space.
The closest image to the ‘Space Between’
I haven’t written in nearly a week now, not on here or in my journal. I love to write and some say they feel I write well. Yet, writing tends to be a passion which does not correlate with the work I do or the tasks at hand that need to be completed for a smoother day. Because of these things, writing tends to be brushed aside as thoughts back up in my head giving me a sense of “brain constipation”. I’m sure talkative people feel this way if they are forced to remain silent for days at a time to attend a retreat; the mere feeling is so uncomfortable and task derailing.
When I started in the first week of August writing daily on WordPress, I vowed to make this a habit that actually accompanied my adult habit of drinking coffee. I felt the 30 or so days would form a habit which I wouldn’t easily break. By day 20 in August though, the stride was foiled by some early morning tasks and plans which did not include writing. I could blame that I am a human that craves seven hours (at least) of uninterrupted sleep. Blame is anger in disguise and I don’t want to place blame on what my body needs.
Bottom line is that I either need to rise earlier, find time after coffee to write, or find a sugar daddy that will support me in the ways I am accustomed to which will give me more time to write and alleviating the need to work to pay bills. Or, I just need to stop being so hard on myself and write when I can with what time I have available. I do miss writing when I don’t do it, so it is something I think about doing even in my busiest days, something akin to a gym membership, and I want to hone and nurture this ability as much as I can.
I’ll get back to writing daily this week. I want to do my best and not drop off from writing like I have done this week. It’s really my own thoughts about this habit that have a conflict waging war in my head. Thanks for understanding my struggle as I persevere in writing daily.