The Process: Governing Values

Often, all of us lose sight of our collective and individual dreams and goals. A year ago, after graduating with a Bachelor degree, I had hoped to secure an Administration position within a nonprofit. That did not transpire and a maje-shift plan B went into effect instead. Nearly a year later, I feel I have been spinning my wheels, at least in the career sector of my life.

I want to find center again. Get back to pursuing new dreams and goals in all aspects of my life. I picked up a book this morning titled; To Do…Doing…Done! by God. Lynne Snead and Joyce Wycoff. On page 27 they list governing life values that everyone holds close, some more than others but all important. They are: Family, Health, Financial Security, Friends, Inner Peace, Growth, Productivity, Honesty, Generosity, Organization, Fun, Joy, Community, Spirituality, Travel, LoVe, Career Development, Adventure, and more. The authors suggest making a mind map of your values to have a representation of those you want to focus on. This map can and will change over time as your values shift. “Your values map helps you make important decisions about your life.”

I plan on making goals to define my “why” my values are important for me to work on in 2017. Without the “why” there will be no clear reason to pursue these goals. I challenge you to also find your “why”. Enjoy the journey!

Bashar’s 7 Steps to Manifesting

(A re-write of a video produced and viewed on Facebook)

  1. Visualize what you want

  2. Be excited by the outcome

  3. Believe that what you desire is possible to manifest

  4. Accept your belief and your ability to manifest it as being true

  5. Want and intend are different. You must have the intention to manifest your desire

  6. Act and Behave like your desire had already manifested

  7. Detach from the outcome. You have to be intense in your desire without any expectation that it manifests

November 2016

My birthday just passed this week. A milestone in that I am now on the fast track of arriving at 50 the next go around. Wow in so many ways. I’ve accomplished a lot in these 49 years but I have so many more things that I’d like to do in the next 51 years! I am not ready to let go of all of my dreams and desires.

I joined a gym at the end of August and have been pretty consistent (up until two weeks ago when the retail work I do amped up my work hours) and I plan on hiring a trainer in January. January is a pivotal month; I will reach my year anniversary at work and I will be able to invest in my retirement which I don’t plan on until I am close to 80 years old. In this last year, I’ve made soft plans to prepare for the 2nd 50 years of my life. Not many people actually make these improvements to better their chances for another 50 years, yet I plan on leading an active and healthy life so I have needed to think in such a way. Or at least I believe I do.

I am wanting to learn gun safety and perhaps get into self-defense exercise by the summer of 2017. I may be a single woman for more years than I had hoped for and I feel if I plan to be alone, some knowledge of how to protect myself and feeling less vulnerable is a must. It also is the reason for joining the gym, to become physically stronger in my next decade or three or five of life. I get that inspiration from seeing men and women who have embraced strength training in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. I even saw a video on a 100 year old man running a race, yes, I want that to be me well into my elder years.

Unhealthy foods and habits need to be continually worked on. Many of those unhealthy choices stem from unhealthy thoughts about myself. I am a work in progress, and I will continue to improve not only my physical self but my mental self-defeating thoughts as well.

I will get back to reading and writing daily. At least two hours each day. I have to be diligent with schooling myself and since graduating from college last December, I haven’t been as much. I work in a monotonous job which wouldn’t challenge anyone over the age of six. If I strive to belong in intelligent conversations I need to work on my intellectual self daily.  One of my desires is to continue to blog, not as personal but as a knowledgeable person in my interests and passions. I have plenty of time in each day to work on these items. I live a simple and uncluttered life. I am looking forward to this year going towards my half century mark in life. I look forward to keeping this blog active and posting my results.


The Places

There are many places I’d like to see. As I sit in my yellow chair which my dear friend painted for me on a lonely afternoon a year ago, I think about those places and wonder. Wonder if I would really enjoy those places if I couldn’t share them with someone I loved. Am I brave enough to travel alone like I did a year ago, to Atlanta? To go to Mexico or Italy and stay on my own for a month or better to really be immersed in the culture of the area?

If I chose to do that, then I give up what I have here. A stable life with a cat as my companion, a dear man who sees me nearly every evening, a stable job that affords me little after my needs but offers me more as I invest years and provides me retirement funds. I’m at that midpoint in life where I realistically need to focus on those later years, not squander time and money into fleeting nomadic whims.

When I was married, that institution offered me a comfortable quilt of luxury and stability. I look back and wonder how did my husband do it? Provide that in his role? It wasn’t easy I’m sure and often times that feeling I had was a farce, a facade. That Disney- like image where the knight saves the princess by providing the temporary illusion of stability through material wants, like vacations or travel.


Most of my inner conflict comes from such a tug of war- I live and work in a safe area. My adult children are nearby. My mom is an hour away and my aunt and cousins only two hours away. Life is good in so many ultra amazing ways…yet I am dreaming of more. Days off like today, where hours go by and I haven’t done anything but watch a movie and nap on the couch, talk to the cat and clean up a few dishes, I wonder what am I doing with my life? Does it matter if I don’t full fill those travel dreams in this lifetime?

Lobster Mac n Cheese

Mac n Cheese has not always been a part of my life. Growing up, my mom bought the pre-boxed powdered sauce (reconstitute with butter and milk or water) and my kids grew up with the Velveeta brand Mac, creamy unknown cheese sauce in a pouch.

My childhood version seldom had anything mixed in with the noodles and cheese sauce mixture, it was more of a side item on a plate next to a meat or sandwich, if served at lunch. My children would only eat their Mac n Cheese with a can of tuna fish in water (water drained). That mixture was a weekly lunch dish that stood on its own in a big bowl. They fought over who would get the coveted last morsel bite. It became a childhood comfort food for them. Mac n Cheese morphed into an upscale version at dinner time; fontina or corkscrew pasta with tuna, capers, kalamata olives, feta cheese crumbles, tomato and cucumber all bathed in a generous amount of Greek salad dressing and served cold, not hot.

A few years ago I met and fell into the deep chasm of uncharted love with a man from upstate New York. He loves his Mac n Cheese. His memories of the dish from childhood often send chills up his back as he recalls his mom’s version to be a mass of overcooked pasta that had more butter than cheese in the sauce. He vowed to tweak the recipe and make his own version, Al dente’ corkscrew pasta or other slightly curved pasta that would withstand small chunks of melted New York cheddar within its crannies. Below is his newest version, adapted to what he is served when he is brave enough to order it in a restaurant. Of course this version is upscale with fresh lobster and should be served as a dinner accompanied with a side salad and a baguette slathered with fresh garlic and butter and lightly toasted.

Lobster Mac n Cheese 

Lobster Mac n Cheese

Lobster Mac n Cheese – served with a salad and baguette

Serves 2 with some left overs, may serve 4 with people wanting the last crumb!

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Butter a 9×12 glass dish and set aside.

Boil 1 package of the best dried pasta you can buy to an Al Dente’ or slightly underdone bite when tested. Depending on the type of pasta you choose depends on the cook time. Watch pasta carefully because when baked it should not turn mushy.

Prepare fresh lobster, chopping meat into chunks. We have tried frozen lobster tail in this recipe but I will suggest you to purchase a live lobster and have it steamed at the store. Once home, remove edible meat from claws and tail, discard shell.

Brown a package of premium bacon, diced once cooked to a soft- crispy texture.

1- 2 (8oz) packages of a favorite cheese. We enjoy sharp or extra sharp cheddar, feel free to play around with the cheese you use. Dice cheese into smallish chunks. Set aside.

1 or 2 jalapeno or other hot pepper, chopped, with seeds if you want it to be spicy. If you want a mild spice, remove seeds and veins from the peppers before chopping. Add to the cheese chunks.

Once pasta is cooked to the desired bite consistency, drain and return to the warm pot. Add all of the above ingredients and mix gently until all ingredients are incorporated on and into the pasta crevasses. Pour this mixture into the 9×12 glass dish and dot the top of the pasta with a few pats of salted butter to your desire. Bake at 400 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes or until the cheese has melted and the tips of the pasta are starting to brown. We enjoy some pasta to be crunchy so we tend to allow it time to brown a bit. Serve immediately, before the cheese starts to cool. Although just as good to eat at room temperature, this dish is best served hot.

Bon Appetit!






Ten Minutes Until Midnight

It’s been awhile since I’ve been up this late on a Saturday night. Or if I have been, I didn’t really pay attention to the time like I am tonight. The title is the time and the time sounds as if it should be the beginning of a suspense thriller or murder mystery than just little ole me rambling about the time.

Today I went out early because I had an itch to get out of the house. I went to a neighboring town to get some petrol and decided to take an alternate route to get back home. I live in Florida which mimics an inferno at 8:30am, so I was wondering what water mass I could stick my feet in before heading back home. Clock in time for work was 6 hours away and there was so much time to do something, anything besides going back home. I end up on Highway 44 and spot a sign that says New Symrna 19 miles (30.57 km) away. Well now, the beach beacons! I decided then and there, why not? I have nothing pressing going on and really don’t need to be home to get ready for work for quite a while. I went to the beach. I am so glad I went! My stay was short, just shy of two hours.I haven’t gone alone in several years, always needing a plan and a partner.


12:02am. I need to remind myself occasionally to just say yes to the opportunities before me. Just do it, even if it isn’t planned, even if you have to go alone, just do it.